We recognize that relationships are a complex and deeply important topic. We aim to introduce a few key ideas that can serve as a starting point for meaningful conversations with your family or community’s teenagers and young adults.
In a world dominated by romanticized depictions of love in the entertainment industry, music, and social media, teenagers frequently see skewed perceptions of relationships. Lust, infatuation, and love are often conflated, leaving many teens confused about what real love truly entails. Lust may spark attraction, and infatuation may fuel fascination, but profound and enduring love is the cornerstone of meaningful connections. It is rooted in respect, trust, and shared values—qualities that go beyond mere appearances or surface-level connections.
Understanding the distinctions between lust, infatuation, and love requires more than deciphering emotions; it demands an exploration of their foundations and is crucial for building meaningful and healthy relationships.
By defining these terms and exploring their nuances, this series aims to provide and equip teens with insights and knowledge that will empower them to form connections that enrich their lives, foster personal growth, and bring long-term fulfillment.
Relationships: Defining Lust
Lust is an intense physical attraction and sexual desire often driven by biological impulses. Rooted in evolutionary survival mechanisms, lust is immediate and sensory, focusing on physical gratification rather than emotional connection (Acevedo & Aron, 2009). While it may be a starting point for some relationships, it is inherently surface-level and often lacks the emotional and intellectual connection necessary for deeper bonds. Lust thrives on immediate gratification, which is primarily self-serving. It is usually short-lived when not supported by other relationship elements.
Relationships: Defining Infatuation
Infatuation is an emotional and psychological state characterized by intense admiration or obsession with someone. Unlike lust, infatuation engages emotional and mental elements but remains largely idealized. Lust exhibits exaggerated feelings and unrealistic expectations that can cloud judgment (Hendrick & Hendrick, 2002).
Relationships: Defining Love
Love is a multifaceted, enduring bond built on trust, respect, empathy, and shared values. Distinguished by its depth and selflessness, love transcends physical attraction and fleeting emotions. It encompasses care for the other’s well-being and a commitment to growth and mutual support (Fromm, 1956). Spiritually, love is often described as divine in nature—a reflection of humanity’s highest potential to connect and nurture.
Final Thoughts
Now that we have addressed the differences between lust, infatuation, and love, our upcoming posts will explore other facets of relationships and how past and current cultural influences shape our approach and understanding of relationships.
References
- Acevedo, B. P., & Aron, A. (2009). Does a long-term relationship kill romantic love? Review of General Psychology, 13(1), 59–65. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0014226
- Fromm, E. (1956). The Art of Loving. Harper & Row.
- Hendrick, S. S., & Hendrick, C. (2002). Love. In C. L. Keyes & J. Haidt (Eds.), Flourishing: Positive psychology and the life well-lived (pp. 203–218). American Psychological Association.
Unapologetically for the children™
